Thursday, April 2, 2009

My friend - Rich, fair and famous!!


This one was broiling in there for a long time. We all have an inherent bias in each and everyone of us no matter how unbiased we would like the others to perceive us. There is a side to us, dark they say, that everyone tries not to project, tries to eclipse it with some façade.But how realistic is this build up is another matter of contention.

Isnt it  true that we still are discriminating when it comes to black or white? Boy or Girl?Hindu or Muslim?Many of us will not agree but we are still biased towards white is beautiful and black is ummm,well, not that beautiful and that goes even for people of the black skin or brown or leathered or tanned or dusky or whatever.  This practice is very evident in hiring proceses,selection let it be in reality tv shows or anything in general. But none wants to accept that. We fit in euphemisms to satiate our bias,dusky for black for example.Presentable for good looking.How can I forget the lovely matrimonial ads that straight away shoot off by saying that “looking for a bride who is fair,good looking and tall”.

How many times have we cracked that odd joke on Mallus(Hey,ask me how many I have heard and I love em!),sardars,north eastern brandished as chinkis to name a few.We just see a person and snap! We form an impression .Bias too.Well the point is that its not something to be ashamed off.Greatness,(well not exactly greatness because that would mean I am great)lies in accepting the penchant and working thereof.How many times have we laughed on the accent of certain people when ours itself is a far cry from perfect?

The point is that we have differentiated and selected all through out our life.Even our own set of friends too. Haven’t there been  enough instances when we have wanted to friend a person of the other sex because she /he happens to be cool and sexy and hot and handsome and all that.I don’t know how many of you will agree but I have.We all have and then we justify it by saying that we were never thinking on those lines and that you  are un-corrupt and have friended a person because of the good heart he or she had and nothing else.Bullshit.From my personal experience,I have seen several instances when a baby is called ‘oh cho cute’ and the only reason I can attribute to it is his or her color or because of the little Adidas slipper he/she is wearing that cost Rs999.I atleast am free of that bias.I don’t like or rather am disinterested towards kids in general(not that all of you who like them are paedophiles).Most of us(men) would be more than willing to help a hot girl,or any girl for that matter rather than an old woman.In a household tussle it is taken granted that it is the male who is defector(The Ghanti Bajaao campaign for instance).

Time to be practical now.Can we do away with the bias and  be open minded and profess our equality in the real manner?No we cant.It is an inbuilt mechanism and this will never go off.We will always be biased.Yeah! you read it right! The difference lies if we realize it or not,acknowledge or not.Each and everyone of us is biased deep inside us,most of us are pretty evident too.Everyone wants to be associated with a certain set of sets.There will always be bias regarding rich poor,white black,hot or not,young old.It is the biases,prejudices and habits that make a person,that decides the level of variability in a person.

Duck it or face it. 


Sree said...

Man, it takes a real big heart to be purely unbiased. I have tried to be unbiased, but its real hard. Nice posts. Keep up the good work.

ArUn raFi said...

@ Sree
It doesnt take a real big heart to be unbiased.The reality is that you cannot be unbiased.if one is totally unbiased,that means he/she cant perceive or get inclined towards anything.tht means that there is no opinion formation.that again means that one is turned into nothing but a puppet and that my friend, is not possible..

Rohan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
El Furibundo said...

Nice post. I agree, discrimination is an in-built mechanism. Maybe it was born long long ago as a survival tool. Animals have survival tools. We are humans, with the unique gift of judgment. I think being biased is ok, as long as you dont let your preferences cause any sort of loss to anybody.

cutestangel said...

Good post ,I dont think we can totally be un biased in life how ever what one must look out for is that that biasness doent stop you from from being a good person.

One should learn never to judge people just because of their age, colour,creed, religion or disability.

KP said...

its certainly difficult to be unbiased esp wid the emotions n other factors influencing our thoughts...

Chaitanya said...

We all look for traits in a person to form an opinion and his social skills/appearance/stature are an integral part of that. But again, I guess differentiating between people and discriminating between them are two different things.

ArUn raFi said...

and its certainly not possible to discriminate without differentiating.ryt?when is it discriminating?when you do something with a tilted frame of u have differentiated one myt be the way u the other myt have felt discriminated.
common..apart from the word plays,if u believe tht u dont discriminate and u only differentiate,then its nice.commendable.

Gopalakrishnan said...

I always like your simple, yet superb trademark of Analyzing every nook and corner deeply. We can give our comments on these matters. My question is this: Can we survive in a society that's got clouded with bias of varied forms? If there's a positive answer for that, I can give my heart and soul to a non- biased world!


You've done such a commendable job.
Keep doing more of this sort!

Chaitanya said...

Interesting. I agree it there can be a very fine line between the two. But discrimination has a definite negative connotation to it. I would say that if I choose to give up my seat in a bus to an elder person instead of a young guy, I am differentiating. But if I choose to, say , ignore a person's application for some job because of his race, that could be called discrimination. What do you think?

ArUn raFi said...

@ gopalkrishnan
your benevolence in words is my suspicion :) thanks.
all these qualitative aspects like differentiation and discrimination can be argued till the worlds end without any conclusion.i just see one word as a euphemism for another one.
please let me know if u want more explanations or justifications frm my side or ur side.mail me at revert asap.

C R D said...

agreed that we all have our biases.

but i think we ought to avoid making biases on the basis of physical features and on communal lines. biases on the basis of nature and character of persons is totally justified.

i have to admit that im biased too. i rarely make frnds with good-looking people. i somehow have this irrational feeling tht they can never be trusted :P

got to change tht trying my best :d


ArUn raFi said...

thanks a lot fr telling one f ur biases too..appreciated..not tht it matters but still..
yeah the only thing i am tellin is tht we ought to realize tht we have biases in us..we have to recognise and work from thereof rather than jus not facing up to them and live idealistically..


Anonymous said...

Bias is not something that is learnt intentionally but rather it is something that is instilled into us by our family society and friends. For example a new born baby is called a hindu or muslim or any other religion child. it is a child born into this world without the knowledge or the ability to judge yet it tagged. this is done by all of us. this in itself is the first bias we have learnt. moving on we learn about other things like race colour caste economic status where the info is both true and false in nature. we grow with these bias and teach it to our progeny. it is noble to know your bias but it is nobler to try and change and more importantly help someone else also recognize this bias and help them change. nobody ever said that it is easy to change for there are always people with vested interests in such kind of thinking (think politicians religious leaders). there will be hurdles both internal and external the question is, what one is going to do about.
and as a wise man said be the change you want to see in the world also a helping hand is better than praying lips.

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Phani Prasad said...

It's a very serious issue you've posted on. India is without doubt the most racist countries in the world. We must be the only country in the world where fairness creams are so much in use. But on a hopeful note, given our diversity it is expected that biases will linger for some time.

Adisha said...

Very True arun. It takes a genuine person to accept that it's something we all do and it's a part of our society today. Since centuries man has found ways to divide based on one or other inherent way for the sake of control, selfishness, benefits or just to build a comfort zone. Which is why we see Mallus or Chinkis drawn towards their own kidn as well :)

Nice post. Thanks for your comments. I really always look forward to what you hve to say. Have added you to my blog roll at

hoping to see more from u.


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